Dan: We researched the kind of dogs that I might get if I was going to get a dog now that I'm fired, and uh, Community was my dog. It has sadly stopped fetching my slippers and has in fact taken to pissing on my face in my sleep and having panels at Comic Con without me, which you know iiiii ahhhh
Erin: Dan while that was happening, how did you react?
Dan: I started cleaning my house. Just for two days I just started moving boxes around, and I was like muttering things like *mumbles* "you hated nerds". And then I would find out I made a shelf wrong and I would just kick it across the room like AH FUCK IT AH SHIT I HATE MY FUCKING LIFE. I'm a wreck. The show broke up with me, it dumped me. You know when you dump somebody-don't "Aww" me. I mean don't do anything, you can do whatever you want, but don't feel sorry for me. I'm not saying these things to elicit pity it's a confession, I need to get this off my chest. I feel warped and bad and petty about it. Outside I smile at people and I go, you know they drive by and go "Toot toot you got fired, woah," and I go "Good morning Ralph. I guess they wanted to go in a different direction. Just taking out the trash." It's my duty, you know, to keep a smile. I am bummed out.
Erin: It's ok to be bummed out
Dan: I love my show. What if they took your baby, what if they came in your window, took your baby? What if they just took your baby?
Erin: You'd probably fix up your house
Dan: You'd probably start cleaning your house. Working on your shelving units and every once in a while you'd find out that for the third time you had the Home Depot guy cut it a tenth of an inch too long so it still doesn't fit in the fucking thing and then you just erupt into WWAHHHH SHELVING UNITS WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING FIRE ME THEN?